Join Us For The Longest Bender Of Our Lives

Many of you know something about Andy and me: we like to party. BUT what do we like even more than partying? Partying with YOU, our friends!

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OLD POST – PUBLISHED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. THERE IS NO TIP JAR. ENJOY THE ABSURDITY OF THE WORDS BELOW.

OLD POST – PUBLISHED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. THERE IS NO TIP JAR. ENJOY THE ABSURDITY OF THE WORDS BELOW.

OLD POST – PUBLISHED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. THERE IS NO TIP JAR. ENJOY THE ABSURDITY OF THE WORDS BELOW.

 

Many of you know something about Andy and me: we like to party.

WaveHouse
BUT what do we like even more than partying? 

Partying with YOU, our friends!


 

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Central Park Lifeguards
Pool Party
Running Of The Andy

Unfortunately, due to conflicts in schedule and/or geographical location, there are a lot of you we either have not partied with in a long time, don't get an opportunity to party with often enough, or have never partied with AT ALL!

Well, THAT is unacceptable!

And we are going to change that shit RIGHT NOW!

But ONLY if you can answer yes to following questions…

Do you want to have more fun than your liver can handle?

Do you want to laugh so hard you redefine ROFLMFAO?

Do you want to partake in the creation of memories we may or may not even remember? 

And finally, do you want to join us in PARTYING HARDER THAN WE'VE EVER PARTIED IN OUR SHORT-BUT-INCREDIBLY-ATTRACTIVE LIVES?!

Did you answer yes to all of the above? Then, please, continue reading below. If not, go back and read them again! Because answering no to ANY of those DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

 

With that said…

Here's the DealI basically have the entire week off for 4th of July and since I'm too broke to go anywhere I'm just going to stay drunk/annhilated/obliterated in San Diego from June 29 all the way through July 8.

Drunk for 10 days straight?

Think about that for a minute.

I'll wait. 

Ok, you can stop thinking, it really doesn't take that long, you must be dumb.

With that said, all of you have the opportunity to participate in what will be the longest bender Andy and I have ever embarked upon.

And let me preface this with something before I continue…

This isn't just going out every night and partying. That shit's for pussies.

  • This is waking up every day and having the first drink in your hand be a beer, Bloody Mary, mimosa, or shot of tequila.
  • This is being drunk by noon, passing out by 5, waking up at 9, and then taking shots to make up for the time we were sleeping.
  • This is getting so drunk you wake up in a bath tub having NO IDEA where you are, where your friends are, or where your wallet and cell phone are. 

I don't even want to think about the stories that will come out of this… except I do, because they're going to be awesome.

And I don't care where you're driving/flying/swimming from, if you want to join the fun, let's fucking make this happen!

If you missed my birthday trip to Vegas and you want in on this shit, LET US KNOW!

If Vegas was your first experience partying with us and you want seconds, LET US KNOW!

If you just fucking love us and you want to party your ass off for a few days, LET US KNOW!

HELL! If you need a place to crash, FUCKING LET US KNOW!

I know what you're thinking, "This sounds EPIC!"

You know what?

You're right, because it fucking is! 

One might even go as far as to say, "It's a chance of a lifetime!"

But that person would be wrong because that would imply I'm going to stop partying after that week, and that's just stupid.

…unless I die, in which case that person would, in fact, be right.

On the other hand, if you CANNOT make it for any part of that week, can you still contribute to and be a part of the inevitable madness which will take place?

Abso-fucking-lutely!

How about you start with buying us a God damn drink!

Now, I know what you're gonna say, "How the hell do I do that if I live XXX miles away in the city of <Blank>?!"

First of all, XXX is not a number, you must have typed that wrong, which is odd considering how far the X key is from the row of number keys!

Second of all, where the fuck is the city of Blank?! Did you just make that shit up? Are you retarded? Do you not even know the name of the fucking city you live in? Or did I just miss the part in Geography class where we could just name a city whatever the fuck we want?

Anyway, I will gladly explain to you exactly how you can buy us a drink regardless of what imaginary city you live in… but first, what do YOU get out of this OTHER than the sweet pleasure of buying a couple sexy motherfuckers an alcoholic beverage?

  1. I will gladly thank you in the write up for this bender once it's published to my site.
  2. If you're willing, I will add you to the group chat for this bender which, if you've been part of the group chats in the past, you know it will be hilarious.
  3. I will text you exclusive pictures that will NOT be uploaded to Facebook or my blog because I don't want to get banned from Facebook or deal with having Age 18+ content on my site.

Now, as for HOW to buy us a drink…

First: Go up to the top of this page and find the little green button under the search box that says, "Fuel my alcoholism" or just click here.

Fuel My Alcoholism

Second: Click that fucking button! You will then be brought to following screen.

Tip Jar Donation

Third: Enter the amount of dollah-dollah billz you want to send me as well as a clever little message explaining what you want us to drink… I will drink anything, and once Andy's drunk, so will he.

Tip Jar Donation Filled In 

Fourth: Hit the "Continue to PayPal" button

Fifth: Fill in yo mothafuckin' info if you don't have PayPal…

Paypal Filled In

 

…OR sign in if you do!

Paypal Signed In
Sixth: Hit Review Donation and Continue OR Log In!

BAM! You just bought me a drink, bitch!

 

PARTY!

 

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